#20

Dear Apostles,

The surprise birthday/Christmas party for Jesus got all messed up because he knew about it, since he’s the Son of God and all.

Love,
Peter

PS- Sorry, no stripper this year, on account of the 10 commandments.

#19

Dear Apostles,

That sounds so weird the more you say it. Apostles. Apooooossstleees. A-post-tles. That’s so weird!

Love,
Peter

PS- Sorry, I’ve been licking leftover frogs that came down from the sky in that one plague again.

#18

Dear Apostles,

Jesus was hilarious the other day! He’s all: ‘Don’t be fooled by the flock that I got! I’m still I’m still Jesus from the block!’ It was a riot.

Love,
Peter

PS- My name is Peter and I’m here to say that I like not sinning in a major way! See, it’s not funny when I do it. Nuts.

#17

Dear Apostles,

Hey guys, what's up with Jesus lately? He's gotten really preachy, he's turning everything into wine, and what's with that beard he grew? I mean, it used to be all about the music.

Love,

Peter

PS- Judas, you’ll be playing the accordion from now on, and Paul will move to the Bass.

#16

Dear Apostles,

These robes of ours stink. I mean, come on, where are we supposed to put our wallets? James, no lewd comments, please.

Peter

PS- How about Capri pants? Should we get Capri pants? Jams?

#15

Dear Apostles,

Oh man, fellows, I got a wicked sunburn at the beach! I wish there were someone who could heal it with the power of the Lord. Oh wait- score!

Peter

PS- Judas, you can be a real jerk sometimes, kicking over everyone’s sandtemples the way you did. Grow up! Geez, one might think you were a heathen.

#14

Dear Apostles,

I found a loophole—we can spread the good word…at the BEACH! Last one on the camel’s a rotten egg!

Peter

PS- No banana hammocks. (I’m looking at you, Paul!)